Hammerfest visits OBX, North Carolina

Notice the large human hand in the photo next to the dangerous piranha fish. I think the hand just makes it look WAAAAAAy more realistic :)


This is again one of a few stupid pictures we took down in OBX, North Carolina over the past weekend. We got a little silly with the camera, but I thought these would be funny to share.

The kittens have nothing at all to do with Hammerfest (like the piranha and sharks teeth did...) but I just thought it would be funny to post this one too.

This is just what I wanted to have posted on the site. Stupid pics of Hammerfest bumper stickers in strange and odd places. These few are thanks to Erin Varley, Sam Powley and yours truly, care of Outer Banks, North Carolina. Feel free to email me photos of these stickers in weird places and I'll add them to the site. Take care and good luck!

HOW TO SUBMIT COMMENTS TO RESPOND TO THE POSTS

Well, there has been some concern and confusion about how to post comments on this site. I'd like to clear up a few misconceptions. First off, you do not need to set up an account and all that jazz, JUST to post a comment. (I mean you can if you want, I'm not going to stop you, but there IS an easier way...

1. Locate under each post there is a little thing on the "signature tag"( for lack of better terms...) that reads, "posted by Travis at X:XX pm" and then right after that it says, "X Comments"
2. That little thing that says "x comments" is a small link, click on it.
3. A pop up window will come up and have a section where you can read everyone else's comments and leave your own comment.
4. Write whatever you would like in the "leave your comment" section and treat this as a "reply to all" like in the emails that everyone was getting. (I KNOW T$ loved those replies...)
5. When you are done posting whatever snide, witty, and off color comment you have, right below it says, "choose an identity"
6. If you click the button that says "other", it expands and you can enter your name below that. You DO NOT have to enter a web page, you can if you like, but it is not necessary to post a comment.
7. As soon as you have completed everything and checked it over, feel free to hit "publish your comment" and the whole world can see it (or just everyone else who knows the name of the blog...)

So enjoy everyone, I know we have had some suprisingly funny and witty responses to the emails sent out and I don't want to stop the replies. Just MOVE them to an area where it will not clog up everyone's inboxes. So have fun and hope you visit back soon. Cheers.

LAST HAMMERFEST EMAIL EVER...

Ok guys,
This is going to be the briefest email that the Hammerfest list has seen in a while. I have extraordinary news. In the interest of NOT clogging everyone's inboxes with LENGTHY emails each month, I have taken it upon myself to create a website solely dedicated to Hammerfest Swims.

I know, HUGE, right?!?!

The site address is http://travisjearley.blogspot.com … pretty easy if you know how to spell my name. (remember there is an extra "E" in Earley, and it's is for extraordinarily AWESOME!! ….sorry, I got carried away there)

So, just so people don't have to "reply to all" as there has been LARGE concerns about this in the past, you all can post comments on the site and that will be just the same as "replying to all" because everyone can see it then and also see who wrote it.

In the future, if I have an update to send or post a hype up for the next Hammerfest or epic day or whatever, I will send a one liner email saying to check the site for an update. This should work out really well. I'm super stoked about it!

Also, as I talked about, if people send me pictures of Hammerfest bumper stickers in odd places, I can post them to the site as well. It's all way too perfect.

And lastly, I have copied in all the previous emails dating back to the original Hammerfest swims and hype-ups, so if you are bored, check them out, many good memories and laughs. And if anyone is new to this list and wants to find out what Hammerfest is all about or why it is such a big deal, just begin reading those posts and old emails. It should be pretty clear after one or two. So this is the last HUGE email you will get from me, save the site to your favorites right now. (seriously now, do it, or else I know you will forget!) And the rest will be history. Take care everyone and I'm going to publish this to the site right now, so feel free to post a comment to it and have fun. Hope everyone is well. This is SUCH HUGE NEWS!!!

Exuberantly yours,
~Travis

El Cinco de Hammerfest rundown

(originally sent on 5/18/06)

Ok folks,
In the words of the immortal Jerry Garcia, "Oh, what a long strange trip it's been…" and so was el cinco de Hammerfest. The way I look at it, it would not have been a proper Hammerfest swim without a few mix-ups (a few = way too many)

Swimmers from across Monroe County converged in the basement of the Otto Schultz building for the first ever evening Hammerfest only to find that the Nazareth pool (being the tight, well run organization that they are) was closed. Now, just so everyone doesn't think I'm a moron and I didn't check the schedule, let me tell you a few fun facts. The website for the pool hours of the Nazareth pool showed the open swim on Wednesday night from 8-11pm. After calling, it was realized that the open swim pool hours were from 9-11pm. Once arriving at the pool, it was observed on a sign near the pool deck door that the pool was not even open for public swim on Wednesday and the masters schedule that went out stated the pool was open from 9-11pm.

So, after calling and looking at the website, I decided during the day (well before we arrived at the pool to find the closed sign…) that it would be a safe bet to have everyone there at 8pm and if need be, we would stick around until 9pm to begin swimming. When I got there at 8:05, I was attacked, tackled and immediately carried upside down for an attempted "swirlee" by some angered swimmers. (The swirlee attempt failed, if anyone wonders. I got a hand free and braced against the rim of the john to avoid being dunked and flushed upon - I've had this happen many times before in grade school and I know my way out of a swirlee… Additionally, while hanging upside down and having my "entry fee" fall out onto the floor in the form of all the loose change in my pockets, I decreed that I was going to start grabbing balls unless I was put down… again, I know the proper techniques to avoid a swirlee…this was not my virgin ride.) So after I wiggled my other hand free (the one was still bracing myself against the rim of the toilet…) I was able to come pretty close to the family jewels of an unsuspecting Tim Howland who then muttered, "ok guys, he's not kidding, let him down!" and I was put down pretty quick right side up after John Hunter flushed a few times for good measure.

Anyway, back in the hall, we decided that it looked as though the pool was not open and most likely would not be open that evening. Darren tried the door handle for what appeared to be the 27 billion-th time that evening only to find it locked…still. We decided to help Sam Powley move some of her art pieces to the silver bullet and from there we all decided to head to the Otter Lodge to sort things out and figure out what our options were.

Phil, Kelly and a surprise guest, Mr. Tim Boerschlein, met us at the lodge and most of us ordered a frosty adult beverage to help get the thinking juices flowing. John Hunter wussed out on the bet that he wouldn't wear his U of R cycling bib shorts over his t-shirt and took them off in the restroom when we got there. After a few minutes of deliberation, I was able to procure a phonebook from a bartender and I called Nazareth to see if the pool was open (as it was near 9pm and there might be a chance it could be open given the contradicting schedules) but no, unfortunately it was not. So, the judgment was passed down that we would do the door prizes that evening at the Otter Lodge and the swim the next morning at 6am at the Webster Aquatic Center. It was early, but it was the only way we could get it in before Phil left. (which Phil didn't even show the next morning, but I digress, I will document that later…)

The door prizes were fun and everyone was a winner in my books for coming out and hanging with me in the "failed attempt at Hammerfest 5" As John so nicely put it when we were deciding if we should, or could swim that night, "it was a hammered-fest, right?" Door prizes were sponsored in part this time around by Fuel Belt, Aquaphor and active.com, various hammer products and Hammerfest mile swims.

The first door prize we drew for was a packet of mandarin orange HEED by Hammer Nutrition Products which went to Heather McLendon. Next was a shoe pocket by Gatorade and Fuel Belt that holds an ID, keys, and money and laces right into your shoes which went to Darren. It's pretty cool I hear, let me know how it works. Aquaphor was a large sponsor this time around and a TUB of Aquaphor went to John's girlfriend Teresa (I don't know if I spelled that right, sorry…) and a smaller tube next went to Greg "squatter" Buzulencia. (if you don't know why we call him that, just ask him) The last product to be given away from Aquaphor, the makers of Eucerin, was a tube of Eucerin foot care cream which went to Sam Powley.

The next prize to go was "entry into Hammerfest 6" which went for the second month in a row to Tim Boerschlein, Alexis came out with a shin splint wrap, the fat guy in the green jacket got a sticker on his back, and Phil came away with the coveted and highly sought after "hammer strength" water bottle. Pretty friggin sweet if you ask me… (thanks for parting with it/donating it Alexis) Hammerfest bumper stickers were given out and a bet was placed on who could send me a picture of a Hammerfest bumper sticker in the strangest place. Seriously, email me any pictures and I will give an AWESOME award to the best one I get each month.

This morning at 6am, six brave souls made it to the Webster Aquatic Center to partake in the first ever MORNING Hammerfest. By the time I got there (after a flat tire - they took a 3 inch SCREW out of my tire today, I have no idea where I picked that up and after a coffee stop for John Hunter on the way to the aquatic center) it was 6:05 am and Tim Howland, Darren Vogt and Alexis Spillman were already underway in their swims. Alexis won from those three with a blazing time of 31:40 and close behind was Tim Howland in a 32:35 and Darren got lapped by his girlfriend in 33:43. Unfortunately they had no one counting for them, so they all may have gone longer than a mile…I just can't say.


John, Greg and I waited around for Phil until 6:17am and then decided to just go without him and if he came he could time himself and we were all counting for ourselves anyway, so I guess it really didn't matter. Later on in the day I got this email from Phil that read, "Hey.... yeah so my alarm went off at 0500 and I turned it off but my dad was in the bathroom, so I laid back down on my bed to wait for him to be done.... and then it was 0630... oops!" So I guess he didn't make it. I'm sure he'll make others, it would have been nice to swim with him one last time, but in my mind there will be Hammer swims for years to come if there is a demand for it :)

John decided it would be good to down and entire cup of coffee in like 3 minutes flat and I think the caffeine hit his bloodstream pretty quick as he took out the mile like a mad man. We battled and battled and I think the anger John had for not making the last 4 out of 5 races he attempted, finally got let out and he blazed to a victory in an impressive 21:50. I didn't get lapped, almost did, but held him off and came to the wall in 22:23. Greg was one lane over and finished it up in 27:09. All in all, it was fast times for a 6am swim and everyone kind of scattered as most of us had jobs/places we needed to be that morning. Notably, Darren gets to keep the tin foil and wire coat hanger trophy for the month (Heather, if you could pass it on to him, that'd be cool)

I am thinking for the next Hammerfest swim, we should do it at Webster, or if the weather and water gets warmer, maybe at Kershaw Park in Canandaigua (as most of us will be swimming open water in triathlons anyway…) A thought that has gone thru my head recently was to rent out the pool at Webster and have them convert it to long course yards and they said they would do it for only like $80 or so, which if we got enough people together (20 would be $4 a piece) would be cool. Additionally I am thinking of setting up a website thru Geocities.com and posting these wrap-ups and huge emails as like a blog with the Top ten list up there as well. And when I have an update, I will just send out a quick email that says to read the website. We'll see if I can get that up and running by June for Hammerfest sex, of I mean six…

Anyway, the tentative date for H6 appears to be in the weekend of 6/24+6/25, we'll have to see what day works better for people. So, in closing, thank you all so much for coming out and supporting Hammerfest swims. If no one comes out it would still be just me swimming by myself…so thanks for supporting this crazy idea and I hope you all have good times at these events. It's all in good fun. Send me your pictures of those Hammerfest stickers everywhere and take care everyone, good job this month and I hope to see you for Epic Day (6/3/06 - update to come soon!!!) and for Hammerfest six. Cheers everyone.

~Travis

Registered swimmers for el cinco de Hammerfest

Originally sent on 5/15/06...

This email is going to be "shorter" than the usual Hammerfest emails…things are busy at the office (too many TPS reports, and the fax machine keeps on telling me "PC LOAD LETTER"...) El Cinco de Hammerfest is 2 days away (Wednesday night at 8pm) and this is the list of people that are "registered" to swim that evening; Myself, Phil VP, Kelly Boerchlein, John Hunter, Heather McLendon, Tim Hettler, and Sam Powley.

Maybe's currently are; Ron Herredid, Greg "squatter" Buzulencia, Brian Matthews Darren Vogt, Alexis Spillman, and Tim Howland. Those who unfortunately cannot make it are; Ryan O'Dell, Erin Varley, Travis Money, Chad Powley and Sys Hasslund. They will be missed….

Anyway, if you are not on the current registered swimmers list or are on the maybe section and want to be switched to a registered swimmer, please email me and let me know if you are going to be in attendance or not, and let me know what kind of snacks you want to bring afterwards to the awards ceremony.

And if you are on the "registered swimmers" list, email me and let me know what culinary delights you are going to be bringing with you for us to munch on at Nazareth.

Hope to hear from you all before Wednesday night and let me know if you are going to be in attendance and what you are willing to bring. Cheers.

~Travis

John Hunter's fluent Spanish reply

Insigne !
Estoy muy contento en esta oportunidad de El Cinco De Hammerfest !!!!! TANTO tan, que siento que deberíamos divertirnos después con Margaritas !!!!! También estoy muy contento deshacerme de Phil VanPeursem. Siento que él me hace tener mala cara en la Carrera de Moto de Carrera. Soy también feliz tener otra vez una excusa para llevar puesto mi speedo…..

Is that right Ryan O’Dell (aka Spanish/pre-med UR student)?

El Cinco de Hamemrfest Hype-up

El Cinco de Hammerfest email sent on 5/11/06:

Hello Hammerfriends,

This hammerlicious email is being sent out to a few new people so feel free to introduce yourselves. Come on, don't be shy. Anyway, with all things hammer, this might be a little lengthy, so I'll apologize in advance. Hammerfest FIVE (yeah that's right we've been rocking for almost a HALF year by now…) is less than a week away. The new day for el cinco de Hammerfest is on 5/17/06 at 8pm at the Otto Schultz building on Nazareth College's campus.

Sorry it is kind of late in the evening, but I think we can kick off the awards by 10pm if we hustle and don't sit in the sauna too long afterwards.

I know this is a little strange having it at night this time around, but one of our dear friends and loyal Hammerfest swimmers (he has attended all four so far, and I think even Hammerfest 3.5, though I can't remember exactly…) is going to be moving across country next Friday May 19th.

It is with a tear in my eye that I have to say Phil VanPeursem is headed to Oregon to pursue a dream job of jumping out of planes and becoming a para-jumper. He will be heading to Oregon on the 19th, so I figured it would be best to have one last swim with him and send him off right. (it was a false alarm after Hammerfest 3, when we had the quasi-going away party and he didn't leave…)

So, Hammerfest five (I still can't believe we've lasted until 5, wow…) will be held during the open swim Wednesday evening at 8pm at Nazareth. We will not be heading back to my place for awards afterward, I will bring all the pertinent awards to the basement of Naz and we will do a small impromptu awards ceremony (with all of the usual awards, door prizes and craziness)

People can bring whatever snacks they want, we will have approximately a 20 minute award ceremony following the swims. Email me with what you want to bring to snack on (historically, we have had juices, crackers, cheese, pretzels, chips, candy, fruits and all the like… we can't have any adult beverages as Nazareth is a dry campus, but I think we'll all survive.) so email me with what you can bring and I will send out a synopsis email to make sure we have enough of everything.

Awards are looking pretty sweet this time around. We have always done a case of your favorite adult beverage to the winner, but since we have to do the awards in the basement of Naz, it looks like we might have to bypass it this time around….The coveted tinfoil and wire coat hanger trophy will be passed on to the swimmer that likes to spend the most time in the water (I think Heather has it?...if you could bring it, or give it to someone who is coming if you can't attend that'd be great) The door prizes this month are pretty freaking sweet (said in the best Napoleon Dynamite voice you can muster up…) We are sponsored in part by Aquaphor and Active.com this month (thank you to another sponsor) and Fuel Belt and Gatorade as well, so get there and there will be prizes for "walking thru doors" - that's for you Sys… :)

So, I still haven't mentioned anything about the race! This is a 66 lap "mile swim" race consisting of 1,650 meters in Nazareth's pool. We will have one wave count for the other wave (if you don't know its really easy to count, we'll show you) and times will be kept on the chalkboard only to be transferred to the Top Ten list if they are worthy. We had a decent upset of the list last month and this month is gearing up to be no different. The fact that positions 6-10 on the list are only 10 seconds apart total, should speak for JUST how competitive the list has gotten. I think 3 minutes separates #1 from #10 on the list. Good fast times. Just what I like to see.

Anyway, if you are up for this first ever evening Hammerfest, email me back and say if you can attend and I will "register" you right away. Also if you are planning on attending, email me with what you would like to bring to the awards and I will let you know if it is good. So in closing, the date is set (sorry it is so close, but you can blame PJ for having to leave… :)) Hammerfest five is 5/17/06 at 8pm at the Otto Schultz building on Nazareth's campus. Cost as always is $2 for your "entry fee" (this is actually the cost to attend an open swim if you are a member of the general public) and the first race will go off at promptly 8:15. Get pumped, stretch out those shoulders and reply back if you can attend and we will see you there for our first ever evening Hammerfest. Have a hammer-tastical day.

~Travis

PS- I know el cinco de Hammerfest is taking place during a new episode of LOST, but if that deters you, I understand. Find someone with a DVR or TIVO and get your spandex covered ass to el cinco de Hammerfest. See you there hombre.

TOP TEN LIST AS OF 5/1/06:

TOP TEN HAMMERFEST TIMES

Nazareth (meters)
1. 23:31 - Amy Mehltretter (April)
2. 23:41 – Travis Earley (April)
3. 24:58 – Travis Earley (February)
4. 25:28 – Travis Earley (January)
5. 25:29 – John Hunter (February)
6. 26:29 – Erin Varley (February)
7. 26:32 – Chad Powley (April)
8. 26:33 – Phil VanPeursem (April)
9. 26:38 – John Hunter (January)
10. 26:39 – Erin Varley (April)

Webster (yards)
1. 21:03 – Travis Earley (March)
2. 23:38 – John Hunter (March)
3. 24:30 – Erin Varley (March)
4. 24:37 – Chad Powley (March)
5. 25:27 – Phil VanPeursem (March)
6. 27:04 – Sam Powley (March)
7. 28:30 – Kelly Boerschlein (March)
8. 29:05 – Alexis Spillman (March)
9. 30:05 – Ryan O’Dell (March)
10. 32:30 – Tim Howland (March)

Hammerfest IV-y rundown

Originally sent on 5/1/06:

Greetings everyone

I'm loving the fact that when I come in to work on Monday morning, I have 12 emails in my inbox and less than 2 were actually work related…love it! :) I'm glad everyone else is getting into the spirit of writing out lengthy emails to recap the events of the weekend past.

So, here’s my version of what you missed if you weren’t cool like all of us over the weekend…
Hammerfest IV-y was a large success with ten participants and a star studded field participating in the best indoor mile swim in April in Monroe County. There were a few drop outs that chickened out from coming and diving into the water with the best of the best, but they will remain nameless for now. Some had good excuses, but nothing is really a good excuse for missing a Hammerfest… The leader board got a violent rearrangement and some people, including me, were shocked at the results.

There were 2 heats with the men in the first heat and the girls and Greg (because he had to time the run for health 5k and came a little late) in the second heat. We had Phil, myself, Amy Nazareth (not her real name, but I later found out she was a former national level swimmer for Naz…named Amy Mehltretter) Tim Boerschlein, and Chad Powley in the first heat. The "gun" went off and it went out REAL fast. Tim held on strong for a good 200 yards with everyone and the pace was frightening. I think Amy and I hit 500 meters in about 7:05 or so and we blazed thru 1k in less than 14 minutes according to Sys. It was a fight from the start as this unknown tiny girl Amy "Nazareth" decided to jump in and race with us as a warm up for her workout afterwards. We were neck and neck for the majority of the race and I'm sorry I can't give a running commentary on the rest of the heat (although I did see Chad stopping and doing backstroke for a while…) because I was too concentrated on catching Amy Mehltretter. She pulled away from me only about a body length shortly after 1,000 meters and never got more than 1.5 body lengths in front of me. It was a close race all the way to the finish as I put in a MAJOR surge with 250 left to go and caught right up so our heads were even and then lost it in the final 150. The winning time was 23:31 by Amy Mehltretter "Nazareth" and I was 10 seconds behind in 23:41. This apparently was Amy's fastest 1,650 of the season and it was a best time for me by over 75 seconds. Good times.

There was a race for the third spot as Chad touched out Phil to the wall with Chad in 26:32 and Phil right on his heels in 26:33. Tim, a Hammerfest virgin, popped his cherry with a 28:27, VERY impressive Tim. (I hope you were able to lift your arms the next day…) Overall, a stellar performance to heat one… but not to be out-done by heat 2.

Up next were the women and Greg which went off with Sam, Kelly, Erin, Sys and Greg all taking to the pool. It was a good "race" with Kelly and Sam each talking to each other for about the first 100 meters between breaths. Sys and Erin seemed to stay even for the better part of the race.

Phil, as always amazed us and gave us something to watch as he brought his flippers and mask to add to the counting display that he always creates. It allowed everyone to take their mind off the swim ("Hey Tim, what number are you on? I think I forgot to flip it….no wait, I think I'm ok…") Heat two ended up with Erin scorching the field and taking the fifth spot of the day with a blazing 26:39 and Sys a little more than a minute behind in 27:44. Sam rounded out the podium for heat two in a time of 28:24, with Greg practicing his open turns following in 30:21. The tin foil and wire coat hanger trophy will go to Kelly Boerschlein this time around with the most time in the pool at 31:19. Nice job to everyone.

The awards convened at my place on the porch where we unfortunately could not find an outlet to plug in some tunes. But music aside, we still had a great spread of food and even a Carvel ice cream cake for a lucky Kelly Boerschlein as it was her birthday yesterday (Happy b-day Kells) There was enough food to feed a family of elephants, or Travis Money and the awards ceremony followed shortly after the food was spread on the porch. We all basked in the sunshine in the afternoon and lamented one we realized Chad didn't make it in for the awards. (sorry buddy…) I'm sure he'll make one eventually…

There were race goody bags for each participant which consisted of race flyers, a Safeco pen, a Hammerfest bumper sticker, and a peanut butter Clif Bar. Race bags were provided by Fleet Feet (thanks Boots and Ellen!) and there were plenty of flyers for their races inside as well. The awards went off and everyone kind of slipped into a small food coma with everything there was to eat. Door prizes (not prizes for walking thru the door, Sys… :) ) were raffled away and a nice Fuel Belt plastic lexan water bottle went to Phil, a triathlon training log went to Erin Varley, the ever coveted entry into Hammerfest V went to the sexy Timmy B, and Sys came away with the women's door prize of the 2006 women's issue of Inside Triathlon magazine. Good times.

Attached is a copy of the updated leader board for the all time top performances of Hammerfest. Next month will be the 5th installment of Hammerfest and there will be a special award given to those who have come to each and every one to date. (possibly including Hammerfest 3.5 too…) But since Phil is heading away (for real this time…) we are thinking of changing it up a bit and doing Hammerfest V on a Thursday to allow Phil and Kells one last Hammerfest before PJ departs to Portland to learn to jump out of planes…lucky kid… So, the tentative date for el cinco de Hammerfest is 5/18/06 at 8pm at the Otto Schultz building at Nazareth's College. Mark your calendars for it. The open swim on weekdays is from 8-11pm, so we are going to try and get there at 8pm and get in the water at 8:15 to start.

I know people hold real jobs and need to get their beauty sleep so we are going to get it done as early as possible. I'm toying with the idea of holding the awards some other place other than my apartment (maybe a restraunt or bar?) or even at Nazareth (Unfortunately we couldn't have booze at the awards then….) but doing it so that it can be done shortly after a nice sauna stay. We can bring a smorgasbord of food picnic style if need be for the awards. It'll be different, but good times none the less. Let me know what you all think about it and if you can make it on Thursday 5/18/06 at 8pm…

Till then, train hard and I hope warm waters and fast times await you all. Cheers, and thanks for making Hammerfest such a big deal :)

Last Hammerfest IV-y update

Originally sent on 4/27/06:

So here is the deal. I hope this email finds you all doing well and having a good April. The weather is getting warmer, it's time to bring the bikes outside, go camping in a rain storm, and break out the short shorts to show off those vitamin D starved thighs. Oooh spring time, what a wonderful time of year. Some of you also may be wondering, "Gee, it's the end of April and we haven't had a Hammerfest Mile Swim yet this month, what gives?!?!" Well kids, I have the answer to your prayers right here…

On April 29th, 2006 at promptly 1pm, only the finest athletes from the greater Rochester region will convene at the Otto Schultz building on Nazareth's campus to partake in the epic, world class event, also known as Hammerfest IV-y. (Anyone who doesn't get that joke, just say the Roman numerals aloud) The open swim at Nazareth is from 1pm-4pm on Saturday and just if anyone doesn't believe me, they can check this link (http://www.naz.edu/dept/athletics/FACILITYHOURS.html) I'm going to verify this AGAIN with the crazy lady at the pool to make sure it's open when we want to swim. Shouldn't be a problem…but I don't want to have a fiasco like last time.

As always this is a 66 lap race of 1,650 meters at the pool at Naz. Your "entry fee" is $2 if you are not a college student at Nazareth, or free if you can sneak past the girl running the table. The first wave will go off promptly at 1:30pm to allow enough people to get there and get changed and warm up a bit. It will also allow some time for stragglers to get in and get changed and get into the pool. There will be two (or more) waves and each wave will count for the other wave, and if you don't know how to count, someone will show you. (Preferably not Phil though, cause he counts really weird - just ask anyone who has seen any of his counting performances…) Afterwards if someone with a Nazareth student ID shows up we can hang out in the sauna which apparently adjoins the men and women's locker rooms at Naz. (Found that lucrative piece of information out during Hammerfest 3.5….) otherwise we can get John Hunter to flirt with the girl who is holding the open swim and she'll most likely let us use her ID to open it up.

The winner of Hammerfest IV gets a case of his/her favorite adult beverage purchased by the slower swimmers. (If anyone wants to know in advance, I prefer Guinness) Everyone just chips in to buy it for the winner. Additionally, everyone is invited back to my apartment afterwards for the awards ceremony where we will have race goody bags for each participant (wahoo!), door prizes, and plenty of food, drink, and sexy people there (it IS at my house after all...) Oh and Greg, you can forward this along to cardboard cutout Brian as I hear he is really fun to drink with…and the regular Brian is too pansy to come and flex his chest muscles for the swim.

We will have various awards at the ceremony such as the "best of times/worst of times", the ever prized tin foil and wire coat hanger trophy cup, and of course the raffle for door prizes. I can't leak all the finer details, but I can say for sure that there will be more Fuel Belt product there, in addition to other FABULOUS prizes. Also, the goody bags are GREAT this time around and I have a feeling that you all will be impressed! Goody bags are sponsored in part by Fleet Feet.

The top ten list will be updated after this months swim and as always it looks like it will be shuffled around a bit. We have some new swimmers who are already registered and rip-roaring-ready-to-go, so they may make some good waves this weekend to the leader board. One can only hope. So far registered this time around we have myself, Sam and Chadrick Powley, Kelly and Tim Boerschlsteinolopolous, Erin Varley, Phil VanPoopsalot, and Sys Hasslund. I hear there is a rumor that if you pressure him enough the famed Travis Money (T$ folks) might show up and strut his stuff, and John Hunter, Tim Howland, Alexis, Greg, and Heather are all maybe's right now. But if they knew what was good for them, they would show up and swim in an awesome race. If you are marked as a maybe, or not even on the registered swimmers list, email me back and let me know you want to swim and I'll add you right to the list.

So in closing, Saturday April 29th, 1pm, show up to the Otto Schultz building on Nazareth College's campus to partake in Hammerfest IV and swim a mile, afterwards hang out in the sauna and come back to my apartment for the awards ceremony where there will be much food, drink and fun. Bring $2 for your entry fee and I'll see you in the water. May you all catch a draft on the way there…but not a speeding ticket...

~Travis

Hammerfest IV-y Hype up

originally sent on 4/18/06:


I thought it would be good to clog up all of your inboxes with another installment of a Hammerfest email. I hope this message finds everyone doing well and having a good April. Congrats to all those who ran Boston this past weekend and additionally congrats to all those who did the Muddy Sneaker. It looked like there were fast times everywhere (with the exception of Brian Matthews, who apparently decided it would be better to get killed by his sister time wise, and NOT re-qualify while at Boston. Anyone who doesn't know, ask him what and how much he consumed during the race to keep him "fueled"…) But yes, nice job to everyone.

Moving on though, we can't all dwell in the past. Coming up VERY soon is the best indoor swim race in Monroe County in the month of April. That's right this is the fourth edition of the Hammerfest indoor mile swims!!!! Who-hoo! This is shaping up to be a great swim as well as there is quite the "buzz" on the streets about this one folks. We are going to have only the best amenities once again at the post race fiesta and the competition seems to be fierce this month again with tons of people already "registered".

If you don't know by now, I'm going to recap this once again for you. Hammerfest 4 is going to be held at 3pm on SATURDAY (Erin…) April 29th at the Otto shultz building on Nazareth's campus. This is going to be a one "mile" race (I use that term loosely Mr. Howland…) consisting of 66 laps in a SCM (short course meters) pool. There are going to be 2 heats (or however many heats we need) but the deal is that you swim and then get out and count for the people that counted for you. (you scratch my back, I rub your butt, kind of deal. You know, everyone benefits from working together - it's all good) If you don't know how to count, it's pretty easy we'll show you how to bob a plastic number pad up and down in the water to signify how many laps have gone by for the swimmers. It's easy no sweat.

The entry fee is $2, or free if you have a Nazareth student ID or just sneak in. So bring your $2 and you'll be able to swim. By the way, if you REALLY want to piss of the people working there, pay ALL in quarters, they LOVE that :) Additionally after the swim, we have found that there is a SAUNA adjoining the mens and womens locker rooms. THIS IS SOMETHING NEW, PLEASE TAKE NOTICE. All it takes is a Nazareth student ID to get into the sauna and if John flirts with the girl running the open swim, she most likely will offer us her ID so we can hang out and bask in the sauna again. This would be fun to hang out in after a good swim. Maybe for 10-15 minutes, just saying. It's there if we choose.

But after everyone is done baking in the sauna and having naked towel fights, you are all invited to come back to my place for the awards ceremony where we will announce the winners and have the "best of time/worst of times" 40 ouncer to give away in addition to the prized tin foil and wire coat hanger trophy for the swimmer who spends the most time in the water. (Heather if you could bring that, or give it to someone so it makes it to Hammerfest 4, that'd be great, thanks!)

There will be door prizes again (if anyone has anything fun to donate to the door prize fund, email me and let me know, we are running a little dry on stuff to give away…) There are also stickers to each competitor (we have PLENTY to give away, let me know if you want another one…) and there may be race goody bags as well. (Phil and Greg, I have to chat with you both about this…) There is always good food, great drinks (a case of your favorite adult beverage goes to the winner) and sexy people at the awards ceremony so come and join us for some fun the last Saturday in April. The only race that day is the Run for Health 5k at Genesee Valley Park at 10am, but that is only a 5k and gives everyone enough time to get ready for the swim at 3pm.
So, get amped, get in the pool, and get ready to grow some "juevos grandes" and swim a mile on April 29th, 2006 for the fourth edition of the Hammerfest Mile swims. Cause hey, it's kind of a big deal, I'm told. Cheers.

~Travis

PS - We will update the current top ten leader board after this race, I'm sure it will be shaken up a bit.

Hammerfest IV-y hype up #1

originally sent on 4/4/06:

Spring seems to be in the air (although not really this week) and people are biking outside and you all can pat yourselves on the back for getting out there and doing some good old training and racing over the wintertime. Good job, you'll be more ready than those other folks that munched down on cheesy puffs and zoned out watching MTV.

Well with the arrival of April, I only thought it good to send out another email letting everyone know about Hammerfest IV. Most of you know the format and I don't think we have any newbie's on the list and if we do and you don't understand what this is, email me and I will fill you in on the finer details.

This month we are going to try and get back to Nazareth and actually swim there this time. (sorry for the mix-up last time everyone…) The date of this race is SATURDAY April 29th, 2006. There appears to be no real HUGE races that weekend and that allows people to go to Boston to run or watch and allows people to do the bike race in Perinton or camp in the snow in the daks (both on different weekends in April, they will not interfere)

The open swim at Nazareth is from 1pm-4pm on Saturday and just if anyone doesn't believe me, they can check this link (http://www.naz.edu/dept/athletics/FACILITYHOURS.html) I'm going to verify this AGAIN with the crazy lady at the pool to make sure it's open when we want to swim. Shouldn't be a problem...

So, save the date. April 29th, 2006 for Hammerfest ivy. It will be $2 as usual and it begins promptly at 1pm, so be there. Email me to "register" and I will mark you down as attending or not. Hope everyone is getting out and enjoying the nice weather and getting some good quality miles in. The fourth installment of Hammerfest is boasting better food, better drinks, better times, better door prizes and better looking swimmers. So be sure to be there to fine tune your swimming skills to make sure you don't drown in the first sprint triathlon of the season. Email me to register. Also as I promised weeks ago, here is the top ten lists for both pools, meters and yards. We'll keep it separate as I hear there is a lot of difference 52.5 seconds makes...

Webster (yards)
1. 21:03 - Travis Earley (March)
2. 23:38 - John Hunter (March)
3. 24:30 - Erin Varley (March)
4. 24:37 - Chad Powley (March)
5. 25:27 - Phil VanPeursem (March)
6. 27:04 - Sam Powley (March)
7. 28:30 - Kelly Boerschlein (March)
8. 29:05 - Alexis Spillman (March)
9. 30:05 - Ryan O'Dell (March)
10. 32:30 - Tim Howland (March)

Nazareth (meters)
1. 24:58 - Travis Earley (February)
2. 25:28 - Travis Earley (January)
3. 25:29 - John Hunter (February)
4. 26:29 - Erin Varley (February)
5. 26:38 - John Hunter (January)
6. 26:50 - Phil VanPeursem (February)
7. 27:20 - Phil VanPeursem (January)
8. 29:53 - Sam Powley (February)
9. 31:46 - Kelly Boerschlein (February)
10. 34:56 - Tim Howland (February)**
**Still don't know Darren and Alexis's times from January, but I think they may have been top ten as well…

April's Hammerfest is sure to mix up the leader board for the top ten overall times. Good luck training and email me to register if you want to get in on the fun. Take care and train hard.
Cheers

~Travis

H3 RUNDOWN

Originally sent on 3/21/06:

First off I need to apologize for the tardiness of this email and the clusterfuck that was Hammerfest Part III. It seemed to turn out ok, but for those who don't know, the Nazareth pool was apparently CLOSED on Sunday, unbeknownst to me and unbeknownst to the lady that I called in the swim office last Tuesday to make sure the pool was still open. I apologize for the last minute change in venue and those that couldn't make the readjusted swim. (Sorry Irah…) Things have been a little harried here and I'm sorry this email is a day late as well. I forgot to bring the list of times to work yesterday that I took down at the award ceremony. I almost feel like the race director who doesn't post the results and everyone is waiting on those results to see how they did. But wait no more, here it is…

Well for me Hammerfest III started out on a sour note with me trying to explain to a Super trooper why I was going 75 in a 55 mph zone and why I exited the expressway as soon as I saw him pull off the shoulder and drive after me. ("Meow, I swear officer, I'm not too familiar with this area (meow) and I was just getting off the expressway to look at my map to find Nazareth College…meow") He told me he thought I was trying to give him the slip. Well, maybe I was, but my four banger Honda wasn't equipped to out run a V8 police car…

Anyway, I felt like an ass showing up to the basement of Nazareth after telling everyone to get there on time at 3pm. And the icing on the cake was that the pool was closed. So we all put our heads together and came up with Webster Aquatic center to complete our swim. We piled into a few choice cars and I led the caravan (right at the speed limit, not above or below) to Webster to go swimming. There were a few near misses as a large Toyota truck driven by a swimmer (who will remain nameless) shot across 2-3 lanes of traffic and in front of another vehicle to hit the 590 exit to follow the caravan. I saw the whole thing in the rearview and even though it was backwards, it was amazingly impressive that the truck is still in one piece…

Webster is a SCY (short course yards pool) and Naz is a SCM pool (short course meters) so we knew the times were going to be faster at Webster. The lifeguards were nice enough there to let us all swim in separate lanes in the other pool. ("Let's hear it for the lifeguards!!!" - Chad) and Tim Howland was nice enough to point out my camel toe in the Fast skin full body Speedo suit that Erin Varley let me borrow. Why Tim was looking at my crotch, I have no idea, only he knows. I don't want to quote him on what he said since his legal department had a quick retort after the "bike arm candy" quote was misspoken in the last email, but it was something to the effect of, "Wow Travis your package is HUGE" No wait, that was Sam who said that. Tim said something to the effect of, "I never knew a dude could have camel toe until I saw you in that…" Gross Tim, I'm speechless, just gross.

Heat one consisted of John Hunter, Phil VP, me, Tim Howland, Ryan O'Dell, and Chad Powley. We were pressed for time so there was no warm up, just straight in the pool for the Hammerfest. After jumping in, I don't think I'll ever have children again as that fast skin suit was just a tad too small (as it was a women's suit) and didn't have the roomier section between the legs that men need. The suit shrunk like 3 sizes and I was speaking in soprano for the rest of the swim. Anyway, watches were set, gun went off and the race was on.

Most were tired from the exploits of the weekend (Giro's in Buffalo and Rochester, long runs, etc..) but I was able to defend the trifecta of January, February and March wins at Hammerfest with a 21:03 in the pool for the 1,650 yard race. John was close behind in 23:38 and third place for the heat was Chad Powley in 24:37. (the complete listing of times will follow below)
An impressive swim by Ryan O'Dell who finished the swim in drag shorts with a time of 30:05 and didn't even get the honors of the coveted tin foil and wire coat hanger trophy. (which is a good thing) The next heat was supposed to be all of the women, but since we were short on counters and time, we needed to make do. Kelly, Heather, Alexis and Sam started together and Erin was 2 minutes behind them. For the women, Erin came out victorious with a time of 24:30 (good enough for third place overall) and Sam was second in the womens heat with a 27:04. Rounding out the podium and finishing JUST before the lifeguards kicked us out was Alexis in 29:05. Good job to everyone who swam.

Official final times for Hammerfest III
--------------------------------------------------------
1. 21:03 - Travis Earley
2. 23:38 - John Hunter
3. 24:30 - Erin Varley
4. 24:37 - Chad Powley
5. 25:27 - Phil VanPeursem
6. 27:04 - Sam Powley
7. 28:30 - Kelly Boerschlein
8. 29:05 - Alexis Spilman
9. 30:05 - Ryan O'Dell
10. 32:30 - Tim Howland
11. 35:?? - Heather McLendon

The awards followed shortly afterwards at my apartment and once again, we out did ourselves on food and drink. There were 2 cakes (thank you Kelly and Greg), an apple pie (thanks Sam), chicken legs (thanks Rachel), cheese, crackers, Cool ranch Doritos (don't you wish you came to the party now Chad?), chocolate Easter eggs, a smoked meat log (courtesy of John), chex mix, and blue corn tortilla chips with salsa con queso at a certain swimmers request. (hope it was good Sam) There was Killians (as it was St. Patty's day weekend), Sam light, G+T's and juices galore. A huge thank you to everyone who brought food and drink. Maybe next month we will rival the spread at the Run for Hospice! :)

There was a special treat this month with each swimmer getting a sweet Hammerfest bumper sticker (and if any of you were too cool to show up to the awards Darren and Alexis I'll give you guys stickers whenever I see you again.) There were also AWESOME door prizes again. 6 total actually thanks to Tim and some of the Hammerfest "sponsors". First off was a nice New Balance lanyard to Phil, second was the "mystery bag" which went to John full of power gels, power bars and e caps and stuff, third was a nice dry fit New Balance t shirt to Sam, fourth was a pair of Yankz! to Erin and last but not least, in the style of muddy sneaker, a certificate for entry into Hammerfest IV went out to Ryan (race director pays your entry fee). Good times. Everyone left with something and a lot of food in their stomachs. Good times. And somehow Tim made it on the email again with a comment to the effect of "I just licked all of your knobs…" (For those of you who weren't there, don't you wish you were there so you would have gotten the context of that??)

Well that seems to be all for this installment of the rundown of Hammerfest. Someone left a blue knit winter hat and a sweet pair of EMS gloves at my place after the award ceremony and if no one claims them, they are going to be raffled off as a door prize next month. Heather, you get the coveted tin foil and wire coat hanger trophy, so when I see you next, I'll pass it along. Hammerfest four is scheduled for 4/29/06 which allows people to hit the Daks, go to Boston and STILL come to the most amazing swim in Rochester!!! The top ten list will be updated for yards and meters (there will be separate lists for each pool) as we don't want to have to add 52.5 seconds on each persons time. Because we all know there is SO much more to do with those precious seconds! :)

Take care all, thanks for pulling together and making H3 a success and I will be sending out more updates as Hammerfest 4 draws nearer. Good luck in all you do and see you in the pool. Cheers.

~Travis

HYSTERICAL reply from Tim Howland

Sent on 3/15/06:

I'm ashamed at myself for not noticing this earlier but aren't we supposed to be swimming a mile at these Hammerfest swims? Beacuse a mile would would be approx. 70 lengths of a 25yd pool or 64 lengths of a 25 meter pool. The mile of course being 1609 meters or 1760 yards. So where did 66 ever come from? (I'm looking at you Travis) So if it's a meter pool then we are swimming 41 yards too far, thats 2.5% further than required. And at my pace of 35 minutes per "mile", that means I'm spending an extra 52.5 seconds in the pool swimming my laps. Think of all the things we could do with an extra 52.5 seconds: microwave a soft pretzel (50 seconds), spin in your office chair 37.5 revolutions, make a tinfoil and coat hanger trophy, eat a cake (Greg), Brians Mom (that one is for you Travis), stare at a carbon fiber 'Insert any Noun' (John), enjoy a tasty V8 Frusion (Erin), classically overdress even further (Sam), rearrange someones bedroom furniture...the possibilities are endless really.

Anyways, I'm in for sunday, all 1.025 miles of it.

-Tim

Update on H3

Originally sent on 3/14/06:

Here is the latest update on H3. (No, not the new "mini" hummer, but Hammerfest mile swim part 3…and John, stop laughing just because I wrote the word "hummer"…ok, now I'm laughing...it IS kind of funny! :) ) Anyway, before I start on the newest installment, let me speak about a few pearls of wisdom from this weekend: Firstly, we all learned from Tim that if you are going to do a girl (Giro) you always need to bring a few extra rubbers as you might blow thru one or two when you are pounding it out. Second, no one wants to take home Brian and I don't blame Phil one bit because cardboard cutout Brian looks creepishly weird and old man like, even when you are sober. And lastly, we all learned that even at 165 or 170 the big eaters (Travis and Travis) are the "phat" kids. I know you guys were saying we were "phat" and not "fat" right??? :)

Well moving on, here is the newest installment. Hammerfest mile swim part three is set for SUNDAY (NOT Saturday Erin…) March 19th from 3-6pm at the Otto Schultz building on Nazareth college's campus. This is being held during the open swim from 3-6pm and the cost to swim at open swim is $2, so bring your "entry fee" so that you can participate. The times got jumbled around because I was lazy and neglected to check the times that the pool was actually open. It's open from 3-6 on Sunday, so that's when we're racing. Just so no one is confused, you NEED to get there right at 3pm, so we know how many heats of swimmers we are contending with. If 20 people show up at 5:30pm and want to swim, we may either be gone, or not have enough time to complete the heat before we are kicked out. So don't be tardy. The order of events will be as follows: 3pm - get there and get changed and in the water for a brief warm up before the first heat and kick all the old lady aqua joggers out of our lanes so we can race. 3:30pm will be the start of the first heat and then we will switch and the second heat will go off at 4:15pm. A third heat will be at 5-515pm if it is necessary. Awards will follow at my apartment, but more about that later.

This is going to be another 66 lap race in the Naz pool consisting of 1,650 "yards" (actually it's meters, but we've been doing a 66 lap race for 2 months before we figured it out…so for consistency's sake, we're keeping it this length. It comes out to like 1.019 miles, so it's really nothing.) We are going to have either two or three heats and after you swim you are going to need to count for another swimmer. If you don't know how to count, don't worry, we'll show you.
The winner gets a case of their favorite adult beverage purchased for them by the losers and we usually all take part in the spoils of war at my apartment afterwards and we all eat, drink and be merry. Good times. Last time we had cheese, crackers, shrimp, chicken legs and pizza. There was quite a spread, and there is always beer, wine, and mixed drinks if you like. We have awards for the best of times/and the worst of times, door prizes (yes that's right, more than one) and there is a new installment this month (it just keeps on getting better and better!!!!) there are bumper stickers that will be either raffled off with the door prizes or just handed out in "goody bags" if I am so ambitious to make those… we'll see. But yeah, the stickers that we clogged up everyone's inbox with voting slogans came in and they look super uber snazzy so they will be utilized this month. The other award that we do is the coveted tin foil and wire coat hanger trophy for the swimmer who spends the most time in the pool on Sunday. Rachel, if you could bring it to pass it on, that would be cool. Thanks :) Wait till the rookies see that, we might just have a fight for last place!

Well to date we have six people signed up and rip roaring ready to go. It's Kelly Boerschlein, Irah King, me, Erin Varley, Phil VanPeursem and Sam Powley. If you want to come and rip it up with us on Sunday, email me so I can "register" you. The Hammerfest all time top ten list will be amended after this Sunday's race and I feel like my kung-fu grip on a trifecta for the podium might be in jeopardy thanks to all of the new fast swimmers we have recruited (friggin Powley…haha) Seriously, best time this year is 24:58, it's the one to beat.

So in closing, Sunday at 3pm (gives everyone enough time even if you are doing the Spring Giro Primavera with GVCC) get to the Otto Shultz building on Nazareth's campus and bring $2 to swim in Hammerfest part III. Email me so I can "register" you and put you on the list. We will have some food and drink afterwards for everyone at my place on Rowley Street and you can follow someone if you don't know how to get there. Email me to register. See you all in the water. Cheers.

~Travis

Winner of the Hammerfest Slogan contest

Originally sent on 3/9/06:

Alright, you can stop holding your breath now, the votes are in and we have a winner for the Hammerfest 2006 indoor mile swim slogan. I know some of you have been pretty anxious about this, but you can relax now. Have a beer, chill out, put your feet up, it's over…

But before I get to the winner (groan…) I just wanted to let you all know my thoughts on the item that this slogan will be going on. Greg kind of stole the wind from my sails on this one in a previous email, but originally it was Rachel's idea to throw the winning slogan on stickers. I'm put in an order today for 50 stickers that will be given away as door prizes, or will just be in your race "goody bags" for the next few upcoming Hammerfest's. (Yes we may have goody bags!) I was originally toying with the idea of putting the slogan on swim caps, but I checked pricing online and the price per cap would have come out to more money than a night with Bryan's mom. Maybe we'll try to do that sometime in the future if there is a demand for it. (order swim caps, not spend a night with Bryan's mom…)

The design for the sticker can be checked out by clicking on the link below:
http://www3.graphicsland.com/netsigns/customize.aspx?TID=5850&FN=df488&SHP=90&TO=2&SI=

It's not going to say "Orland hills park district" on it, but it would be kind of funny if I made a mistake and ordered 50 of those! Ha-ha. The color for the text is "yellow", the font is "paintbrush", the clipart color is "default" and the background color is "royal blue". I put in the order today during lunch and they SHOULD be here for the next Hammerfest mile swim on Sunday March 19th, 2006. They said shipping would be 2-10 days, and it's only coming from Illinois.

So, the news you all have been waiting for. The winner is….

Well, lets do this like America's Funniest Home Video's. They always tell the second place winner first. I'll just tell you the runner up's. The second place winner overall was #21. "Hammerfest 2006: Life in the fast lane" sent in by Mr. Tim Howland of Rochester, NY. There was actually a three way tie for 3rd place between #49 "Just add water: Hammerfest mile swims", #12 "Hammerfest 2006: Yeah, we're cooler than you", and #24 "I heart flip turns - Hammerfest 2006" The winner was decided by a margin of less than 7 points, so it was a tight race. All of the suggestions were hysterical and I just wanted to thank everyone who contributed. I hope no one got pissed about the amount of emails (as I know there were a TON) and I know of at least one mailbox that kept spitting emails back to me saying it was full (I feel like the Hammerfest emails MIGHT have had something to do with that…sorry Evan)

But I will keep you in suspense no longer. The winner of the slogan contest was #15 "Hammerfest 2006: "yeah, it's kind of a big deal". So that's it. The order is in and should be delivered before next Sunday. Just as an update as we have new people on the list, I will send out an email with the finer details of the swim and awards ceremony sometime next week. But the date is SUNDAY March 19th, 2006 so mark your calendars. Warm up begins promptly at 1pm, or whenever the girl lets us into the pool, so be there on time or else you'll have to beat up an water aerobics old lady to get a lane.

Hope you all enjoy these emails, I know they are lengthy, but I enjoy writing them and I hope you all enjoy reading them. See you in the water and I'll catch you on the next wave. Cheers.

~Travis

Hammerfest potential quotes

1. "Hammerfest: the best of times, the worst of times"
2. “Hammerfest 2006: Livin’ Life 66 Laps at a time”
3. “Hammerfest 2006: Sweat while you’re wet”
4. “Hammerfest 2006: Michael Phelps ain’t got shit on us”
5. “Hammerfest 2006: Because I said so, That’s Why!”
6. “Hammerfest 2006: Because peeing on your bike isn’t as cool”
7. “Hammerfest 2006: Because drowning sucks”
8. “Hammerfest 2006: Because losing to Mike sucks”
9. “Hammerfest 2006: Swimsuit Edition”
10.“Hammerfest 2006: ‘Cutters’ of the pool”
11.“Hammerfest 2006: Not quite the IceCapades”
12.“Hammerfest 2006: Yeah, we’re cooler than you”
13."Hammerfest 2006: Sink or Swim"
14."Hammerfest 2006: This ain't no findin Nemo"
15."Hammerfest 2006: "Yeah, it's kind of a big deal."
16.“Proud parent of a Hammerfest 2006 swimmer”
17.“My Hammerfest swimmer can kick your Honor students ass”
18.“Speedo: The other white meat”
19.“I swam 66 laps at the Hammerfest swim and I all I got was this lousy shirt”
20.“Hammerfest 2006: It’s better when it’s wet”
21."Hammerfest 2006: Life in the fast lane"
22."WWMD: What Would Moreland Do?"
23."Hammerfest, it's long, hard and wet" - on a pair of underwear
24."I heart flip turns"- Hammerfest 2006
25."Hammerfest mile swims, Warning: swim at your own risk"
26."Hammerfest, because swimming isn't as easy as Brian's mom (or sister)"
27."There's something about spandex - Hammerfest 2006"
28."Hammerfest swimmers - slippery when wet"
29."Is that a banana in your hammock? - Hammerfest 2006"
30."Hammerfest mile swims, pounding the laps in the offseason"
31."Hammerfest 2006, because you won't get better while on the couch"
32."Hammerfest swims, a reason to get off the couch since 2006"
33."Hammerfest mile swims: friggin sweet"
34."Nothing like smuggling grapes in a cold pool" -Hammerfest 2006
35."Hammerfest mile swims - keeping you in shape since 2006"
36."I eat carbs - hammerfest mile swims"
37."Hammerfest 2006 - confusing meter's and yards since February"
38."Hammerfest 2006 - work hard, play hard"
39."Hammerfest swims, because a masters program is too damn expensive!"
40."I just swim for the door prizes" - Hammerfest mile swims
41."I swim for beer" - Hammerfest 2006
42."I heart guinness" - Hammerfest mile swims
43."Hammerfest, because the winner gets a case of their favorite adult beverage"
44."Hammerfest 2006, because I had nothing better to do"
45."Hammerfest mile swims - because we're a little crazier than everyone else"
46."Hammerfest 2006, because we're a little different"
47."You swam how far? - Hammerfest 2006"
48."Hammerfest 2006 - because no one likes to be last out of the water"
49."Just add water: Hammerfest mile swims"
50."HFS - 2006"
51."got Hammerfest?"
52."Hammerfest mile swims - giggity, giggity, giggity"
53."Hammerfest 2006: where going "ass over teakettle" is a good thing"
54."Hammerfest 2006: as close to 69 as you can get with strangers"
55."Hammerfest 2006: because technique matters"
56."Hammerfest 2006: where else does $2 get you half dressed co-eds?"
57."Hammerfest 2006: going nowhere fast"
58."Hammerfest 2006: no carbonfiber required"
59."Hammerfest 2006: Debut of the Carbon Fiber Racing Suit"
60."Because some people think swim caps are sexy, Hammerfest swims"

***Note: These were HYSTERICAL, adn if you don't get them, that means you are not cool enough. They clogged up everyone's email and we got some messages kicked back stating that some inboxes were full....sorry guys!***

Email to decide on a good slogan

Originally sent on 3/2/06:

Here it is, the moment that you all have been waiting for. I've included a list of all the slogans that have come in from everyone and we need to vote on them to see which one's people think are good/funny/hilarious/or down right stupid. There is a .txt file (notepad on Windows systems) attached to this email with 60 slogans which are numbered. If everyone could write me your top 5 slogans, I'll keep a list and tally up the score to see who the winner is. Please make your top five from your most favorite to your least-most favorite in ascending order. That way we can get an overall winner. I'll tally it as the #1 choice will get 5 points, #2 choice will get 4 points, #3 gets 3 points and so on, so the most points slogan wins!

The slogans are going to be put on an item (I have to still keep it a mystery as there are a few options I am considering) to be raffled away over the next few races/meets. Or they will be given away as prizes, who knows. The only thing I know is that they won't be put on t-shirts as we all have WAY too many race shirts from tri's, du's, road races, adventure races, etc. I'll leave you all in suspense about what items the slogan could go on :)

Also, there are many new names on this list. I've added a few friends and friends of friends and friends friends, so please don't take offense to anything written. It's all in good fun and if you want off this list, just lemme know. I have you all on here because you have at one time showed an interest in swimming 66 laps in a pool in the off-season, or you just like to drink after a workout. Either way, you're on the list, cause you are as wacky as the rest of us and like the pain that endurance events cause. Comments back and forth are all in good fun and don't take offense (or else we'll throw kickboards at you and call you a weenie at the next swim) and have fun. Remember, it's WAY funnier if you "reply to all" so that everyone gets in on the laughs (if they get the inside jokes or not…)

So in closing, cast your votes to me by 3/7/06 and I will tally them all up and I will announce the winners on Wednesday, 3/8 for the slogan contest. If you have any questions or concerns about opening the .txt document, let me know and I can email you the slogans in the body of the email if it is easier. I just didn't want to jam up everyone's inbox. Cheers.

~Travis Earley

REPLY from Tim Howland on H2 rundown, originally sent on 2/21/06:


I'm shocked an appalled at the lewdness and gross misrepresentations of your
e-mail Travis. My lawyer will be in touch regarding the libel you so
maliciously spread about me across the electronic universe we know as
e-mail. OKay, now the serious stuff:

1) I am was the one talking about Speedskaters not using chairs. I had read
about it and will try to find teh article again but it was quite some time
ago. To any sensitive speedskaters out there I don't mean to group you all
together as I'm sure many of you have excellent taste in chairs and
routinely use them.

2) I was misquoted about the bikes, actual quote is more like "....the Felt
looks really hot and is like bike arm candy but the Serotta is sexy and
classic like bike marriage material."

3) I do think John was "excited" looking at new bikes and talking about his
Giant which he said .." I wouldn't trade my bike for any other bike in the
world." I must say I was enthralled with all the gorgeous bikes in front of
me as well, however I wasn't wearing my carbon fiber drawers like John so I
may not have experienced the same level of ride quality or responsiveness
that John did while bike shopping.

4) The food spread was great and I too would also like to thank Rachel for
the BBQ chicken as it was darn tasty.

Okay, that's all from me. I'm looking forward to the next swim as I think
with a couple weeks of training and listening to the Rocky training montage
repeatedly I can dethrown the repeat champion Travis Earley.

-Tim

TOP TEN LIST AS OF 2/21/06

Hey everyone,

Sorry for the supplemental email. I wanted to start a chart of the top ten times for Hammer swim and here is what I have so far. If you have your time from January and think you should be on the list, email me and I will update it. (I kinda lost almost everyone's times from January…)

1. 24:58 - Travis (February)
2. 25:28 - Travis (January)
3. 25:29 - John Hunter (February)
4. 26:29 - Erin Varley (February)
5. 26:38 - John Hunter (February)
6. 26:50 - Phil VanPeursem (February)
7. 27:20 - Phil VanPeursem (January)
8. 29:53 - Sam Powley (February)
9. 31:46 - Kelly Boerschlein (February)
10. 34:56 - Tim Howland (February)

Email me if you think you should be on the list from your swim time in January. This will be updated after every Hammer swim. Cheers.

~Travis

RECAP of Hammerfest 2

Originally sent on 2/21/06:


WARNING: GRAPHIC MATERIAL MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR AL AGES OF VIEWING. ONLY READ THIS IF YOU CAN TAKE A JOKE IN GOOD HUMOR AND NOT BE PISSY...

Hey all,
So the second monthly installment of the Hammerfest indoor mile swim was this past Saturday at 1pm. A good time was had by all I believe. It was held at 1pm at the open swim at Nazareth.
We had a total of eight competitors again consisting of; me, Phil VanPeursem, Kelly Boerschlein, Rachel Ciesluk, Tim Howland, Erin Varley, Sam Powley and John Hunter. It was a good race that we split into 2 waves. The first to go off was me, John, Erin and Phil. It was a close and tough battle and I ended up defending my title, shattering my old record by 30 seconds and making the new time to beat 24:58. John turned on the heat late in the race, but it wasn't enough. He came in a close second at 25:29. Erin rounded out the podium at a minute behind John and Phil was just 20 seconds behind Erin.

The second heat consisted of Sam, Kelly, Rachel and Tim. Tim was late as he was painfully deciding on which bike to propose to at Park Ave Bike shop. (and I quote, "...well the Serotta is like arm candy, but the Felt is much more like marriage material") I think John had an erection in his carbon fiber underwear when they went to browse the bikes afterwards.

Anyway, the second heat consisted of some people who hadn't swam a lot in quite some time. I know for a fact that Kelly hadn't been in the water since 2005 and Erin (even though she was in the first heat) told me she was very much "out of swimming shape" (which for a person who went to Nationals in college still means kicking most everyone's ass) But the most notable was Rachel who never swam competitively in high school or college and had just started swimming at the Webster aquatic center late in 2005. She finished the full mile and then told us that she did a mile the day before, just to make sure she could complete the hammer swim. Now THAT's dedication! Nice job.

The honors of heat two went to Sam Powley who broke 30 minutes in an impressive 29:53. Second place was Kelly in a 31:46 and Tim unfortunately had to give up the prized tin foil and wire coat hanger trophy with his third place in heat two finish. He dropped some time from January with a 34:56 this time around. Rachel finished it strong with a 41:44, not bad for the first Hammer swim. :)

The awards were held at my place afterwards and there was much food and drink. We've upped the ante at the awards ceremony with a great menu of food and door prizes as well! There was shrimp, cheeses, chips, pretzels, beer, nacho chips, turkey legs (thanks Rachel) and as much wine and mixers for vodka that you could imagine. The door prizes were then given away after everyone had a chance to chill out with a drink and watch some Olympics coverage. The first door prize was a Fuel Belt mesh trucker hat that went to an overzealous winner, John. The next door prize was a Fuel belt running technical race hat, Erin Varley was the lucky recipient of that. The next two were nice give-a-ways from New Balance and the first being a NB watch which went to Rachel and then a snazzy NB lanyard that went to an over-excited Sam.

The only thing I have to ask is, I was wondering who made the statement when we were watching the speed skating coverage on the Olympics about how speed skaters do not have chairs in their house, that they just squat to eat their meals? Who said that? John and I were discussing and couldn't remember who it was. Shoot me an email if you remember.

Well that about wraps it up. The next hammer swim will be sometime in March, maybe the weekend after St. Guinness Day. Till then, take care everyone and I'll see you on the course. Cheers.

~Travis (the now TWO time defending champ!...that's right :))

Last minute H2 email sent on Valentine's Day

First off, Happy VD. (that’s right, I started this email with an off color sex joke... If you don't get it, go ask your parents) Anyway, here is the rundown. We are all set for this Saturday at 1pm at the pool on Nazareth's campus (located in the Otto Schultz building) to do the Hammerfest part deux. We are doing this at the open swim at Naz and to get into the open swim, it will cost $2. So if you plan on swimming and having a great time, bring your $2 "entry fee"

Just so no one is confused, this is a 1,650 yard race (a mile) consisting of 66 lengths of the pool. We will have people counting for you and you will have to count for someone when you are not swimming (its really easy, if you don't know how to count, someone will show you…)

Since this is at the open swim at Naz, get there right at 1pm so we can let everyone know we are going to be racing. That way we can kick all the old lady aqua joggers out of our lanes and get down to business. The first wave will go off at 1:30pm (or sometime around there…) to allow people enough time to warm up and the next wave(s) will go off after the first finishes and has enough time to catch their breath and go grab a number counter.

We are going to have a variety of awards this time around but the big prize is that the winner gets a case of his/her favorite adult beverage purchased by the losers of the race. (Don't worry Cassidy, since you aren't 21, we'll get you sparkling grape juice!) Haha, just kidding, there will be other awards such as the "best of times/worst of times" theme that we started last month and we even have door prizes this time!!! Wahoo! Yes, I typed that correctly, door prizeSSS. That means more than one. So most of the people who swim will come away with something after the race. While I can't reveal what the door prizes are until the day of, I can tell you that we have some nice Fuel Belt product to give away and some other really cool prizes. We will have a raffle at the awards ceremony at my apartment following the swim.

So far signed up, we have 8 people and the potential for many more. Signed up as a YES are: me, Phil VanPeursem, Kelly Boerschlein, Erin Varley, Sam Powley, John Hunter, Rachel Ciesluk, Heather McLendon. The MAYBE's currently are: Tim Howland, Travis Money, Greg Buzulencia and Cassidy Kyler. I still haven't heard from other people on the list, so if you are in, drop me a quick note.

So there it is, if you aren't on the list, drop me a note and let me know you are up for the challenge. If you show up and don't email me, that means we all get to wail on you with a kickboard for an undetermined amount of time. Happy swimming and remember this is just for fun (and bragging rights) so we all get better together in the off season. Oh yeah, and the all time record for the leader board is my time from last month: 25:28. Although, I have a feeling that might fall this Saturday.

~The defending champ,
Travis

Hammerfest 2 hype-up

sent originally on 2/8/06

Ok folks, this thing has grown just waaaaay out of proportion and things are looking up for the second monthly hammerfest mile swim. We have media coverage, like 50 participants this time around and have fabulous prizes for EVERYONE without having entry fees!!!

Just kidding….I wish it grew to be that big. Anyway, we have a pretty decent sized list of people who have said yes for the torture this time around of swimming 66 laps in the Nazareth pool. So far the list of competitors includes; me, Kelly Boerschlein, Erin Varley (she has made it explicitly clear that she knows this is Saturday and not Sunday this time around) Samatha Powley, Phil VanPeursem, John Hunter and Greg Buzulencia. Darren and Alexis are going to be out of the country the weekend of the swim and they have already let me know they can't make it. I know there are more that might have told me that they want to come and compete, but I forget a lot of things, so just shoot me a quick little email that says "I'm in" if you are down.

The format stays the same, its going to be an indoor mile swim at the Otto Schulz building on Nazareth College's campus. It is going to be run during the open swim at their pool (no one is there anyway) and the cost to swim the open swim is $2/person. So I guess technically the entry fee is $2 for this event. (Last time I didn't have any cash on me and paid in quarters…I'm sure the girl at the desk loved it) We are going to have 2-3 waves, depending on the number of swimmers and either a fast/slow heat or do the old standby of men vs. women. It'll be a game time decision of the wave format. Either way, the wave that isn't swimming is going to be counting for the wave that is in the water.

The winner gets a case of their favorite adult beverage purchased for him or her by the losers and the Guinness that I got last time was mighty tasty! (thanks Greg, on behalf of everyone) I think I may even have a few bottles left in my fridge as I type this. Anyway we had awards for the best of times and the worst of times and fun awards in addition, (Tim - if you still have the trophy made of wire and aluminum foil, bring that as I would love to pass that on at each race.)
There is a new addition this month as well. We are going to have a door prize raffle at the awards ceremony for one lucky winner of some Fuel Belt product! Wahoo! The awards ceremony is going to be at my place, or if everyone wants to do it at a local bar (but unfortunately we would have to pay for drinks if we did it at a bar) maybe the Otter Lodge, or the Old Toad, or Prepps, etc. But if we do it at my place, everyone just BYOD (bring your own drinks) or if you are the lucky winner, you get your booze provided for you…

So here is the rundown; we have 7 competitors so far, if you aren't on the list, email me and let me know you want to compete. The race is at 1pm on Saturday February 18th at the pool at Naz, cost is $2 to do the swim, we have a raffle afterwards for Fuel Belt product, and if there is an overwhelming desire to do the awards at a bar, just let me know in a quick note.
That's all you need to know for now, but there are 10 days left before the second monthly Hammerfest mile swim. I'll shoot another email out as the date draws near. Cheers everyone and hope to see you then.

~Travis (the defending champion)

PS- Since we are going to be doing these every month until the weather gets better, I was thinking we could have an overall top five best times list that we could update after each swim. Kinda like a leader board and course record board all rolled in one. I know my time from the last swim, and if you know yours, let me know so I can make the board. Lemme know your thoughts.

RECAP of Hammerfest ONE

originally sent on 1/23/06:

This is a message going out to just recap the events of this past weekend. On Saturday January 21st, 2006 athletes from all over Monroe county convened at the Otto Schultz building on Nazareth college's campus to participate in the inaugural hammerfest mile swim.

A good time was had by all and we had a record number of 8 swimmers for this event. It was me, Greg B, Phil VP, John Hunter, Darren Vogt, Alexis, Tim Howland, and Heather McLendon. There were also 3 counters who, this event would not have gone smoothly without. I just have to give them recognition, Rachel Ciesluk, Kelly Boerschlesteinelopolous, and Sam Powley. A big thank you to them is in order as some of them haven't counted at all, or in many years and it went off without a hitch. Thank you so much guys! Unfortunately enough, there were no HOT naked cheerleaders this time…. I'll have to book them earlier next time.

Well as mentioned before the winner got a case of his/her favorite adult beverage and since the national level collegiate swimmer spaced on the date, (very unlike you Erin…) I ended up taking the event swimming a blazingly fast (not really…) 25:28. Second place overall was John Hunter behind by a little more than a minute. Rounding out the podium was Phil VanPeursem coming in third. There was much Guinness at the awards. :)

The awards ceremony was held shortly afterwards and everyone enjoyed the spoils of a good workout/race and there were even a few impromptu awards (the best of times/the worst of times) and fun times had by all. The cake monster even made an appearance and wolfed down a monstrous 3/8 ths of the cake he brought! (his name will remain anonymous to protect the innocent, but anyone who was there knows who he is…)

There was talk about making this a bi-monthly event in the off season and that is being considered. (Although Tim might have to pass on the prized tin foil and wire coat hanger custom trophy he got at the awards ceremony.) If there is a next time (and I don't see why not) I am going to try to incorporate more awards and other amenities to get more people to come. Maybe we'll even have a door prize for one or two lucky winners? We'll see.

Let me know if you would be interested in this again in a month or two and I'm sure I will see you all soon. Take care, enjoy the off-season and train hard. Cheers.

~Travis

Hammerfest one hype up

Originally sent via mass email on 1/13/06:

I hope the warm sunshine and great temperatures have been treating you all well the last few days and you all have gotten a chance to catch some sunrays (when the sun actually pops thru the clouds) Some of you may be getting this email correspondence for the first time, I stole a bunch of names from Greg's list...

But on to bigger and better things; The inaugural hammerfest mile swim is 8 days away. The date is set for January 21st at 3pm at the Otto Schultz building on Nazareth's College's campus. It's during the open swim, but no one really goes to the open swim at Naz anyway. Admission to get in is $2. Not that big of a deal, but I thought I would let everyone know to bring some cash.
As mentioned in previous emails, this is a mile swim consisting of 1,650 yards (66 laps). The winner gets a case of his/her favorite adult beverage purchased by the slower swimmers. (If anyone wants to know in advance, I prefer Guinness) Everyone just chips in to buy it for the winner. Additionally, everyone is invited back to my apartment afterwards to hang out and share the beverage if the winner is up for it.

So far we have myself, Greg B, Erin Varley, Brian Matthews, Phil VP, and Heather McLendon signed up as competitors. Those who are still indecisive are Travis Money, Darren Vogt (told us it was going to be a game time decision), Dave Tanascoli (but he'll probably wuss out like he did for the Bopple/Gannett challenge) and John Hunter as a maybe's.

This is a co-ed swim so bring anyone you would like who thinks they have some speed in the water. Its just basically a fun friendly competition that will help us all to get stronger and faster and excel as a group. (cause no one like swimming on their own)

We still also need like one or to more people to count for us, so if you know anyone that would like to do that, or have a significant other that wants to come watch, we can put them to work as they spectate. On the same note, we have no volunteers for the HOT naked cheerleaders, so I think obviously it was just too short notice for them a I hear they are in high demand. If you know of anyone that wants to be a cheerleader, lemme know. :-p

If anyone has any questions about this give me a call on my cell phone at XXX-520-6844 or if you know of anyone else that would want to participate, just forward this along. I'll probably write just one more email a day or two out from the swim. Good luck training and I hope to see you all on the 21st. Cheers.

~Travis Earley

PS - If I didn't list you as a "yes" or a "maybe" and you plan on competing, just shoot me an email and let me know if you will or will not be attending, just so I can get an idea of who is coming. Thanks!

First ever Hammerfest email

The following was originally sent in a mass email to all Hammerfest swimmers on 1/4/06. I am republishing everything here just to get everything in one location and be able to access it while I am not at work. Enjoy!

1/4/06

I know I've been talking about this for a while, but I've finally nailed down a date. Saturday, January 21st, 2005 will be the date for the inaugural indoor "off-season" mile swim race. This gives people enough time to hop in the pool and get ready to drop the hammer for this late January race.

To anyone who doesn't know, this will be a 1,650 yard race at (most likely) Nazareth College's indoor pool located in the Otto Schultz building. We may have to share lanes depending on how many people show up, but as long as no one rips T-Money's goggles off during this, we should be ok. We will swim and have people counting laps for us (65 is the last number you will see on the counter if anyone wonders, as 66x 25yds = 1,650) and the winner will get a case of their favorite adult beverage. Everyone who didn't come in first, pitches in to buy the case and we can all head to my apartment to have a little gathering and maybe share the beverage if anyone is up for it. This is more of a workout to help us all get stronger in the swim leg of triathlons and push each other to excel as a group.

I haven't really thought about wetsuits, but I guess if you are a retard and wanna wear one, we'll call an ambulance in advance and tell them to come to the pool for a dehydrated swimmer who sweat themselves to death in 76 degree water. (that means this is a sans-wetsuit race. We don't want any fatalities.)

Tentatively the start time is 3pm. But if anyone has a problem with that I'm sure we can adjust. I don't want to make it too early as some of us like to enjoy the Friday nights in the off season… Just email me and let me know if the time works for you. Additionally I've checked the local race calendars and there doesn't appear to be a race on this particular Saturday. (other than that 10k snowshoe race at 11am, but that will give everyone time to do both if they want)
Feel free to invite anyone who would want to swim, be a counter, or be a naked cheerleader to this inaugural event. Its open to everyone (please, only HOT naked cheerleaders…) and if there is anyone else who I forgot…sorry, just forward it to them and shoot me their email, so I can add it to my list.

Let me know if anyone's interested. See you all later. Cheers.

~Travis